Have you ever thought about why you are still at that spot in your life, which you wanted to have left behind already long time ago? Why you are still stuck in that city, in that job, in that relationship, in that environment?
I dont know what this spot is for you but I had a major aha moment this week. And perhaps this might help you too. I always considered myself a very positive person. Very open and supportive for others, and always seeing the good in others.
Now I realized that this is only half the truth.
The other half: I am very hard on my own. This really is amazing, the longer I think about it, the more I realize, the deeper truth and how much this did hold me back. The good thing, and I know exactly where this is coming from — the red pencil syndrom. I spend quite some time in the education system — 4 years of primary school, 9 years of secondary school, 5 years of university as a student and another 4 years as a research assistant. That is over 20 years being trained to look for what is wrong and pointing out the mistakes, instead of looking for and appreciating waht is right.
But guess what — I am done with it!
I am now developing a positivity bias! How? There are three simple steps to developing my own positivity bias.
1. Achievement cards — This is simple but very effective. Every week I write out 50 cards with my own achievements and things I did correctly. Either in that particular week, the last year or anytime in my life. Every day I mix three additional gratitude cards in and sift through all the cards at least once a day reading them out loud with gusto. Of course the more I read the more excited I become and the more successes come to my mind. So I am picking up momentum.
2. Mental Diet Pill — When I am thinking any negative thought I stop entertaining this thought directly. Of course this sometimes can be challenge and here a mental diet pill comes in handy — that is simply a picture from one of my smart goals that I keep in my pocket for easy access.
3. Bear hugs kettle — if all this does not help, there is a short sentence that helps me to set my mind on a different track. This sentence is bear hugs kettle — which reminds me that I have choices in my life. The sentence refers to bears that apparently when touching hot things, are not able to let go, but hang on to them harder, and the more they burn the more they hang on to what is destroying them until they lose their life. Now the simple sentence reminds me that it is my choice to act differently — and thus helps me to let go and think of something else.
For me these things really start to work. I realize that sifting through the cards changes the way I think about myself and with the mential diet pill and the bear hugs kettle I have to additional tools to help me stay on track — amazing what one can do, if he / she is willing to put in the work. I dont know about you — but I am really excited about this, and an looking forward to seeing myself succeed even more.